Leaning on HIM

Honestly, no words can begin to describe how bipolar, stressful, frantic, crazy, great, unpredictable and amazing my past few weeks have been. It's like I was a whole new person. Having a boyfriend, going out with best friends, sleeping all day, staying out all night, meeting new people, testing my patience, working on set and off. It's just been a whirlwind and I credit God for keeping me close to His heart through it all. Today was extremely great. Applied for two Cartoon Network internships and I feel really good about my resume thanks to all the opportunities God has opened up for me. Got a call from a cute African boy named Terence and we had a nice 15 minute conversation. Spent time with Aunty Lisa and I've been keeping my chin up about this upcoming wedding. I am very sick but really it's okay. I know it's all going to be okay. It's one of those moments - they last about as long as a firework in the sky - where my heart is laying in bed curled up. Not jumping, not running, not cooking and cleaning. Just laying, warm and peaceful. Thank you Lord. 

Cant believe after all that's gone on I can sit here and have peace. Only God. Only. 

Tis the Season

I welcome the Christmas season with open arms. This semester was hell, and most refining, learning semester of my life. Commuting 4 hours or more a week, running out of money, feeling left out and left behind, my mom doing her own thing and just all around feeling down. But after all the essays, film shoots, bad days and good there is only 1.5 weeks left of Fall semester then I'm free for a bit. Boy I can't wait to be free. <3

"family" time

with my family apparently my sisters can't do anything without their friends because everytime there's a family outing (i.e Knotts, restaurants, family dinners & so on) my sisters bring their friends who in my opinion are not the funnest people ever. and it's like, i spend my entire school year living and doing thing with friends, so when i come home i jsut want to be myself and be with my family. that too much to ask? but no, every single outing a person between the ages of 14-18 who is NOT realted to me nor do i wish was related to me is squeezing into the car or forcing me to have to drive. i know God's love is supposed to encompass everyone but geez I don't feel like being nice to them. Plus my sisters just feed them all the groceries my mom buys. (do i sound selfish?) regardless, thats how i feel. and now my dad is about to move away and this chick is tagging along thanks to my sister and she is even tagging along to our spa day! what the hell it was supposed to be just me and mom. how did this happen.

Make it or Break it

"I know I'm pretty blah blah blah but what do you want from me?" -Pacen

question of my life. what in the good & gosh darn name of toast do you want from me? dont step into my life without some type of plan to benefit me, because my life already has one without you. 

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